Monday, September 21, 2009

Entry #9

Dear Diary,
Could you believe it? I was being visited by a private family doctor of ours just now in the morning. AHHH,thanks to Macbeth I guess? Or no,wait,I think it has got to do with myself. Right? I don't know what has been happening to me lately..

From what I heard from the doctor and the gentlewoman that came to visit me,they "have seen me rise from my bed, throw my nightgown upon myself, unlock my closet, take out a paper, fold it, write upon it, read it,afterwards seal it, and again return to bed. But all this,I did it while I was fast asleep"

This is so strange! Why on earth would I feel this way? Ughh. Or is it because of the destruction of nature? Or because of the ... the nightmare which I am having due to the planning of Duncan's murder? BUT I DIDNT KILL HIM! It was Macbeth who did it! I was only planning on what to be done! THAT'S ALL!!! I NEVER DID ANYTHINGS OF THAT SORT! NO WAY!

I still hear from the rest of the servants that they have seen me trying to rub my hands off while sleepwalking in the midst of the night. And i started saying that "a little water could wash this bloodstain away" so many times while RUBBING MY HAND. and why would i want to do so? for goodness sake! this is totally crazy of me! UGHH!

"Here's the smell of the blood still. All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand," I actually said this myself! Could you believe it? No way! In what sense have i gotten bloodstains? I didn't do any KILLING!

and "what's done cannot be undone" (?!) what on earth have i done? i didn't do anything blood. I've never been such a bad woman before and I wouldn't want to and NOT EVER! and i better go to sleep for now I'm getting the effects after the high-dosage of pills the DOCTOR! have given me. goodnight...

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